While we may pride ourselves for living a Christian lifestyle it may be that we are not acting in Wisdom. At this present time, the local church is using Rick Warren’s 40 Days of Love and the accompanying book, The Relationship Principals of Jesus by Tom Holladay. What surprised me is that although the primary text is 1 Cor. 13:1-6, much of the material is from Proverbs.
I want to expand on those verses from Proverbs as I see them pertaining to my life and I hope that they may aid you in your quest for a more meaningful relationship with Christ. The first thing is to see how our present lifestyles may not be in a Christ-like relationship but one of the failings of the flesh and the weaknesses of the carnal or human mind. To have Wisdom in Christ is to put aside that which keeps us in the carnal and embrace the richness of the Spiritual mind of Christ. Let us first go into the things that God hates about us. The things that keep us in the failings of the World and separates us from God’s full Mercy.
These things that separate us from God’s Grace are listed in Proverbs 6:16-19. 1.) Haughty eyes; The self pride and air of superiority that causes us to see ourselves as better because we are “saved”. We forget that we are saved not by our works but by grace. We tend to forget that we too were (and maybe still are) sinners. 2.) A lying tongue; How often do we stretch the truth, gossip or pass on information that was told to us in confidence? When we relate stories that can harm or invent tales to meet our desires we are a reflection of a lying tongue, we betray trust and lose the voice of integrity. 3.) A hand that sheds the blood of the innocent; While we think that we have never caused harm to others, it may well be that because of how we treated others or how we responded to another, we have cause great hurt. Examine how it may be our own fault that relationships have been destroyed, even in innocence. What could we have done differently that could have saved a relationship or created one where none existed before. 4.) A heart that plans evil; When we plan or pray that evil falls upon another, we sin against God. Even when the other has created a hardness or a wickedness against us, we are not to plan, dream or even imagine evil for them. 5.) An eagerness to do evil /wickedness; Sometimes it is easier to jump to conclusions and let a vile temper arise rather than to take time to think out why someone has harmed us. Sometime it is simply more convenient to pass blame, guilt or to reject someone without purpose other than to hurt. 6.)Be a false witness; While we may not outright lie about others, we may omit to tell the whole truth. We may plan our testimony to mislead, misdirect and to distort the truth. 7.) Sowing discord or contention among brothers; We are told by Paul to build up each other in the body yet it is too often a practice among the faithful to treat each other as enemies rather than as brothers or sisters. We wound others to promote ourselves and even to the point of making it impossible for some to enjoy Fellowship with each other.
All these things God hates. He considers them to be the same as death in the body. What we must do, and I speak for myself first, is to find the gentleness of Christ for ourselves. Proverbs 15:1 states, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stirs up anger.” We should reflect on what we say and how we are to say it so that the words are gentle and kind rather than harsh or vindictive. Proverbs. 15:7 states that “Only the wise can give good advise; fools cannot do so.” So that if we are called for advise or if we feel the need to offer it, then do so in love and gentleness. Proverbs 15:4 answers the question of why we should do this with, “Gentle words brings life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” We must guard against the temptation to seek revenge on others with our voice and our thoughts. We are to bring the Everlasting Life to the body by our kindness. When we plot against each other or against those who offend us outside the body, we crush the grace of God for them. When we use scripture to condemn rather than to build, we cause separation. We can correct, minister change and cause growth with carefully planned words rather than with harsh, cruel and vindictive verses.
Since there is but one atonement for our sins, Jesus, God rejects our offerings and our tithe giving if we continue in the ways of wickedness after we have claimed Him as our Redeemer. But God delights in our prayers as long as we are upright and honest with Him and with each other (Proverbs. 15:8). But God says that whoever abandons the right path will be severely punished; whoever hates correction will die (Proverbs 15:10). So when we speak, act or respond without the gentleness of Christ, we fail in the walk of Righteousness. Our attitudes should be the same that Christ Jesus had. When we abandon them, we are in effect, abandoning Christ. While we may think our ideals are pure, Only God knows our true heart. We must commit our works to God, not only the works of our hands but the works of our heart and soul as well. In this is the true Wisdom that is of God (see Proverbs 16:1-4).
While God despises pride, He responds to the unfailing love and faithfulness, Kindness covers a multitude of sins. We must awaken to the idea that when the ways of the people please God, even our enemies will live at peace with us (Proverbs16:6-7). And while we may think ourselves as wise, we can only be wise if we can turn with trust to each other for counsel. Proverbs 16:20-23 tells us; “Those who listen to instructions will prosper; those who trust in the LORD will be happy. The wise are known for their understanding, and the instruction is appreciated if it is well presented. Discretion is a life-giving fountain to those who possess it… From a wise mind comes wise speech; the words of the wise are persuasive.”
We learn from each other. We grow from the experiences of others. We can grasp the Love of God by the mistakes of others who have changed. So we are to present ourselves to each other in the Grace of God and keep our own failing and shortcomings out of our speech. We are to be prayerful in our approach to the complaints of others and seek Christ in our attitudes. We are to be honest and forthright in all we say and do, while keeping guard on our voice so that we speak only what God would have us say. And even as we speak, we are to listen with the ear of God to what the others may have to say, so that we can hear their prayer, their heart and their mind as Christ would hear us.
Even when people may say or do unkind thing to us, we are to follow the lesson of Proverbs 19:11; “People with good sense restrain their anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs.” While this may seem easier said than done, with Christ and the Grace of the Holy Spirit, it is possible. When we are able to forgive and still retain calm memories of past hurts and injustices, we can be gracious to others. While we can “overlook” the wrongs of others, we are not required to trust them. If fact, we are cautioned to be more aware of the falseness of the offender. But if we can be “civil and courteous” to those who caused harm, we gain favor in God’s eyes. Just as Christ forgave those who led him to the cross, we can forgive the offenses of man against us. While we are called to do good for each other, we are also called to love our enemies. So when Proverbs 3:27-28 says, ” Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it is in your power to help them. If you can help your neighbor now, don’t say , ‘Come back tomorrow, then I can help you.’”, Think of all men as your neighbor. Think of even those who have harmed you as one who must be helped. Bridges are build by those who are willing to turn to those who they have offended.
“Worry weighs a person down;an encouraging word lifts them up.” (Proverbs 12:25) Even as we are forced to deal with unkindness and hurt every day of our lives, we can by God’s Grace, learn to still uplift and encourage relationships even with those who are the cause of our hurts. As worry is a weight about our hearts, only we have the power to free ourselves from it. We make the choice to live with the fret of how others perceive us or we have the opportunity to release the anguish and say to them, “I choose to Love instead.” While “people who wink at wrong cause trouble, but a bold reproof promotes peace,” and, “hatred stirs up quarrels, but love covers all offenses,” (see Proverbs 10:10,12) we are still to guard ourselves with the lessons of the past not to trust to how much people claim change. Let them prove it with kindness and earn a measure of trust. Let our words, our action and our attitudes reflect, that while we may forgive and accept them as one of the body, we will still use caution and test their trustworthiness.
The most important lesson Proverbs has too offer in the regard of Wisdom is one that I to often forget. Even as I wrote these words, I think of how to often that is my major fault. I am long winded and to often say a hundred words when ten are enough. There never seems to be enough words to express my thoughts. The key verse that I fail to take to heart is Proverbs 17:27; “A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even tempered.” So I ask that I might learn from these words to speak more carefully and with as few words as are required to let the message of God’s Love reach out to those I have quarrel with. I pray that I use God’s Wisdom and not the understandings of men that will only fail. I seek to grasp the understanding of others so that I may be a tool of hope rather than the shovel of despair.
So while I see the Truth in 1 Cor. 13 and the lessons from 1 John 1:5-10, I can only hope that I can learn to love in Wisdom as taught by Proverbs. I pray that I can be the wise person who hears, understands and forgives others so that I can learn what Love truly is.
